Scene #5
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. NEVUAH - CAVE.
CLOSE on NPC. The party stands frozen as they were.
The Pause symbol floating above them flashes to Play before disappearing. At the same moment, the three PCs seem to light up as their players take hold of them once again.
As soon as the characters start moving again, NPC shifts to b.g, quietly falling into step behind them.
NOGA(V.O)
Right. So now, if you'll remember, you had successfully gotten into the Wizard’s cave--
SANTIAGO(V.O.)
(interjecting)
Did we level up?
NOGA(V.O)
Nope.
Groans from the players.
The party members continue walking down the tunnel as the players talk.
NOGA(V.O.)
You were walking through a tunnel. Up ahead you can--
THEO(DORE)(V.O.)
Perception check?
NOGA(V.O.)
(Sighing)
It's dark.
THEO(DORE)(V.O.)
I have Dark Vision--
SULO(V.O.)
I also do!
SANTIAGO(V.O.)
We all have dark vision.
NOGA(V.O.)
(exasperated)
Fine, roll.
Sound of dice rolling.
THEO(DORE)(V.O.)
That's a nat 17, babey!
NOGA(V.O.)
That's not how-- whatever. Ok, you see… You just see the long tunnel that you're walking through. Further up ahead it widens into a room and there's a whole mess of shit in there--
The party enters the room.
ALAMI rubs his hands together greedily.
ALAMI
Is there any loot? Any moolah? Anything I can purloin?
ELIORAH
We’re already rich--
NOGA(V.O.)
(not actually mad)
Are we actually going to make it through this cave or are you guys going to interrupt at every detail?
They all laugh.
NOGA(CONT’D, V.O.)
Ok, yeah fine. There's a big treasure chest and you can tell that it's locked.
SULO(V.O.)
I uh, take Theo's club--
NOGA(V.O.)
--Roll for Sleight of Hand then-- No, wait. What are you doing?
SULO(V.O.)
I'm hitting it.
NOGA(V.O.)
...Strength.
Sound of dice rolling. ALAMI grabs THEO'S club.
SULO(V.O. CONT’D)
--and I bash in the top.
THEO(LOGY)
(startled)
Al-- What if it's a mimic?
NOGA(V.O.)
That might also damage whatever's inside.
ALAMI winds up like a batter getting ready to swing.
SULO (V.O.)
19! I bash in the top-- perfectly.
The 19 is punctuated with him smashing the chest with his club.
NOGA(V.O.)
Fine. Alami bashes in the top of the chest and it pops right off, and inside you find the contents of the chest fully intact but no worth to you whatsoever, because it's--
ALAMI pulls out a sheaf of papers contained in a purple binder.
NOGA(V.O. CONT’D)
--All of my DM notes and plans. Worthless because apparently we're opening every treasure chest in the kingdom instead of doing anything I prepared.
MATCH CUT TO:
The same purple binder, now in NOGA'S hands.
ZOOM OUT TO:
INT. NOGA’S APARTMENT. D&D SETUP.
[NOGA raises her eyes amidst the laughter.]
NOGA:
Guys.
SULO:
Yes yes. Sorry. I promise to be serious now. Seriouueesss mooodde
[They mime wiping off their smile, and glower.]
NOGA:
You remember what you're doing?
SANTIAGO:
Going to see an Unetana wizard with a hacked crystal ball. He sees the present instead of the future.
SULO:
Fuckin’ wizards, man.
THEO:
NPC can just hold onto those notes for us in the meantime.
NOGA:
Yeah, he just–
CUT BACK TO:
THE CAVE.
NOTZAR
(very much NOGA’s voice)
Yoink!
NPC grabs the binder from ALAMI.
NOGA(V.O.)
--And just grabs them out of your hand.