Scene #9
CUT TO:
INT. NEVUAH INN - MAGIC HOUR.
We open to see a well kept inn with a few customers in the separate booths. Behind the counter hangs a sign reading: WIZDONALD'S- Billions Served.
Next to it, the menu advertises Happy Gnome Meal, Big Wiz, and Large Fries of Holding.
The innkeeper, wiping down the bar counter, wears a red visor hat with a big yellow “W” on it and a matching apron.
The door swings open and ALAMI strolls in, sweeping back his hair with his hand. He looks rough and haggard from their travels and has several cuts and splatters of blood and dirt on his face and clothes.
He clears his throat.
INNKEEPER
(monotone)
Welcome to Wizdonald’s what can I get started for--
She glances up and freezes. She puts her hands up and cowers.
INNKEEPER
Take what you want, just don't hurt me!
ALAMI
(taken aback)
What?
The INNKEEPER stands on tiptoes to see the other customers.
INNKEEPER
Help! This ruffian is attempting to
burgle my inn!
ALAMI
(even more confused)
What??
Behind him, THEO, NPC AND ELIORAH walk into the inn. THEO's sleeve is torn. ELIORAH has leaves stuck in their hair. They look just as bad as ALAMI, if not worse.
THEO strolls up and puts a hand on ALAMI’s shoulder.
THEO
He didn't mean to scare you, ma'am, he's just one of them rough and tumble Orcs, you know how they are.
The INNKEEPER looks even more scared than before, not soothed at all by THEO’s words.
INNKEEPER
...Actually, you all look dangerous.
THEO immediately turns to ALAMI, shaking her head.
THEO
See? It's because you're an Orc.
ALAMI
(still confused but now angry)
I--??
THEO
Love your hat, by the way. Is that part of the uniform?
She winks rakishly at the INNKEEPER. The INNKEEPER gapes at her.
ELIORAH leans around ALAMI, leaning on the bar and getting it dirty.
ELIORAH
We'd like rooms. Please.
The INNKEEPER looks at the counter.
INNKEEPER
Why are you all covered in blood? ...Have you been in a fight?
Beat.
THEO
Technically we won.
INNKEEPER
I don't know if you’re all… Safe. to stay here.
ALAMI crosses his arms.
ALAMI
Well now. That's just rude.
ELIORAH
Alami, please.
THEO sweeps off her hat and holds it to her chest. I guess she's been wearing a hat this whole time??
THEO
I assure you-- we just need a place to rest. We're quiet. Harmless as ducklings.
NPC looks up in b.g., then gives a thumbs up.
ALAMI
(muttering)
I'm not that harmless. I definitely won't be harmless if this continues much longer.
The INNKEEPER’s eyes narrow.
INNKEEPER
Hold on, something doesn't feel right…
(counting on her fingers)
an Elf, a Tiefling, an Orc… and uh…
The INNKEEPER squints at NPC, then turns to a wanted poster that hangs beside a faded "Employee of the Month" plaque.
NPC spreads his hands in a “what about me?” gesture as the INNKEEPER tears down the wanted poster and studies it.
It’s decorated with the party's faces and a call for a reward.
The poster has been heavily vandalized, with glasses and facial hair drawn onto each of the faces. NPC is covered by ELIORAH’s curly mustache.
INNKEEPER
You're Those Assholes!
ALAMI
(to the innkeeper)
It’s half Orc, actually.
SMASHCUT TO:
The party sprinting out of the inn , past the glowing W-shaped arches at the entrance, and down the road.
ELIORAH waves their hands behind them.
ELIORAH
(yelling)
We were never here!